Through an unexpected loss, my family and I have received so much kindness this week. To everyone who left a comment in the event of Bear's passing, thank you. You are appreciated and loved!
Today is Random Acts of Kindness day, which has become one of my favorite days of the year. Since the experience of discovering my Ben's Bell, the idea of kindness shared between strangers has sparked an awakening about the true meaning of life. We are here to share love and to be kind to one another, not only on a special day like today, but everyday.
For many years of my life, I was so focused on my own family and friends that I never considered the powerful affect of reaching out to the unknown person. But because someone reached out to the unknown me, I have discovered a new source of energy. The idea of kindness shared with perfect strangers makes me happier on a daily basis. Now I recognize opportunities where a small action on my part would make a positive impact. I used to feel guilty when I'd sit in the pew at church and have less than a dollar to put in the basket. I was embarrassed because my wallet is continually empty. I used to kick myself on the inside and critically ask why I never have anything to give. The guilt would eat at my insides and cause me to avoid worship altogether.
But this year, I've found a storehouse of valuable gifts that keeps magically replenishing itself. I'm rich in kindness! Filthy rich! There's enough to go around to every person I meet, and enough to feed the perfect strangers I'll never know.
Have you ever wondered why the word perfect goes in front of the word stranger?
Strangers are perfect! We haven't had the experience of living and working with them. We don't know their bad habits or their religious or political viewpoints. We can't compare ourselves to what we don't know, and so we don't feel insignificant or intimidated in their presence. We don't know if they are a doctor or a teacher or a homeless traveler. It doesn't matter what they do for a living or if they are socially connected.
God asks us to love one another as He loves us. I think He means to love one another like perfect strangers. Because in a way, God is a perfect stranger. Sure, there have been lots of things written about Him, but unless you are a saint or are already dead, then technically, He's unknown to you in a face to face meeting kind of way. You may experience His love every day, but it's like the gift sent from an unknown source.
When we start thinking about the unknown person who is a perfect stranger, we realize that there's no such thing as a void.
There's always another one beyond the first.
I hope you find your perfect stranger today, and that they find you too!
You revealed truth in this post, Jenny. I believe in the power of random acts of kindness. You can totally energize yourself by spreading sunshine wherever you go. A great day for me is one in which I have made an honest and effective connection with as many people as possible - family, friends and strangers - and made their day a little better by inviting them by means of verbal and nonverbal communication to feel comforted, validated, important and special. As I go through my day I seek as many opportunities as possible to make a small difference. I open and hold doors for a stranger, say "please" and "thank you" often, and simply smile and nod at people that I don't know. I learned this from my father who always waved at pedestrians and other motorists as he passed them in his car. Most were strangers.
ReplyDeleteThere is bitter irony in the concept of a "perfect stranger" because the closer and more familiar you get and the more you know about the stranger the less perfect they reveal themselves to be. This principle is illuminated in the Thomas Wolfe short story The Far and the Near.
http://www.readfirst.net/wolfe.html
To me The Far and the Near is an excellent metaphor for our modern social networking labyrinth.
Short stories like that give me the chills in the hard truth of bitter endings. I think there is truth to what he's saying. But I also love that sometimes, our imperfections make us beautiful. When the imperfection ends up being seriously negative, full of despair or devoid of kindness, that's a challenge. I wonder if the ending of that story would be different if the conductor had arrived bearing an armload of flowers and a belief that there was a heart buried under the harshly spoken words?
DeleteI just read your other comment, Jenny, and I thank you so very much. Desiree and I feel the same way about you and if Shelly could be here instead of away at a conference I know that she would also be eager to testify about the blessings of having your friendship.
DeleteI think you have a good point about the ending of the Wolfe story. With a little more persistence and compassion perhaps the engineer could have achieved a breakthrough with the women in the cottage. If you are resourceful enough you can turn a stranger or even an enemy into a friend. It requires flexibility. Try one approach and if that doesn't work try another. Meet the other person at their map of the world and gently lead them to your map of the world. It's the Japanese martial art of Aikido, redirecting force and turning aggression into rapport without injuring your opponent.
How do I even begin to pass comment on such a well expressed, deeply thought-provoking and, Oh, so true sequence of observations, Jenny! I am quite sure I've said something similar to you on a number of occasions, but really, each time you open your heart, soul and mind to share these observations, revelations, precious gems of your own making, I find myself in total awe of your maturity, your deeply thoughtful insights on life, and the far more complex workings of the human spirit. You are still a young woman, Jenny, very much in the prime of your child-rearing and busy, day-to-day-schedule-of-life time, yet your soul reaches out, way beyond the constraints of responsibility and obligation, to pluck these sparkling pearls from the tree of knowledge.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to hear you've realized that material advantage is over-valued when it comes to the really important and truly lasting things of life. I wish you hadn't ever felt embarrassed in your church pew! The love and generosity of your spirit far outweigh anything in dollar terms. On these pages and in your personal communications, you absolutely shine. Never ever feel you ought to take second place to anyone, OK? Keep your humility, but acknowledge your sterling value. I'll come right over and box you about the ears if you ever feel the need to "kick your insides" again :)
Big hug
Des xoxo
Gosh Desiree, I'm suddenly without words! That doesn't happen often! Thank you!
DeleteI love my friends. I just love them. When I first met Shady and Desiree, they were perfect strangers to me. With time they have revealed themselves to be more beautiful the more I know them. So maybe Thomas Wolfe isn't exactly right; although I'm going to have to read it to find out more!
ReplyDeleteI am an ardent believer in kindness to strangers. It's just how I think we all should be living our days. Growing up in the Christian Science church the words 'Love is reflected in Love' were everyday teachings. Although I am no longer a practicing Christian Scientist, so many of those teachings still resonate deep within.
ReplyDeleteWhen we are kind to strangers, our love is a reflection of God's love...and hopefully is played forward.
Hugs~
I love to make a point of saying hello to people I pass every day, and I look for opportunities to strike up short conversations with those I come in contact with, like the grocery store checker, etc. I think it cheers people up to show these little courtesies instead of just walking by or remaining silent. Even on a plane, I can't just tune into my iPod until I'm absolutely sure there's no one to talk to! I do so enjoy people, and I know how much I appreciate a little notice from people during my day.
ReplyDelete