The communal pain we all feel when our society suffers tragedy.
In the crowd yesterday, an eight year old boy.
I stop breathing when I think about it.
In silence, my heart hurts. In silence I look around my life, this little micro-shelter, this tiny pocket of the world where I feel safe. And I am thankful. I am confused and afraid of the world outside. I think of the people whose hearts were full of excitement, not knowing that they were standing next to a bomb.
I feel sick.
Weakened.
So terribly sad.
My excitement about today being the day that I complete the spring musical costume pieces, my excitement about being able to burn 900 calories at the gym, my happiness about planning a lovely birthday event for Richard and my joyful expectation of an upcoming visit from my brothers is muted.
This is just how I feel now. More than ever, I feel called to pursue a new path in compassion and compassion education.
When I'm down, I feel the pain fully, but also recognize that there's also a quiet sense of gratitude.
For these quiet, peaceful moments. When Elliot learns to play "happy birthday" while his stuffed dog named "red eyes" holds the music book.
Pain, pain, pain.
He's so beautiful it hurts.
Dear God, send comfort and love and healing to all those who are grieving such devastating losses.
I have no words for times like these, and so I react in deep prayers for those affected, and like you, steep in gratitude.
ReplyDeletePhilipians 4:8 ...whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is fair, whatever is pure, whatever is acceptable, whatever is commendable, if there is anything of excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy—keep thinking about these things.
Beautiful post and beautiful words my friend. You would have been thinking of Elliot as soon as you heard about that young boy. Life is so unfair sometimes. All of us are, once again, struggling to comprehend what it is all about. Such needless carnage - once again. We must hang on to the goodness and kindness in our world - otherwise the evil will prevail. Blessings to you Jenny.
ReplyDeleteOh I detest when evil enters a pure a lovely moment...trying to turn us away from good and all it encompasses. We need to hold onto the kindness and good in our hearts and find it in others so we can bar evil from gaining an entrance to our souls.
ReplyDeleteAll I could think of at that moment was that two of my sons had been running in a race the day before in Richmond. The what ifs of that moment were terrifying. I will not let evil rob me or mine of the purity and fineness of this world.
Loves to you sweet and kind Jenny and give our dear boy an extra hug from me today!
PS can't wait to hear about Richard's birthday surprises!
Loves~
Thank you Sush, that was such a heartwarming comment. Loves to you too!
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