I could go on.
And on.
I love food. I enjoy preparing lovely dinners worthy of candle light, cloth napkins and dessert.
But I have to stop doing that. Cooking big, satisfying meals and spending a long time at the table.
There's only so many miles a person can run to balance this trend towards eating for comfort and luxury. So I've adopted a new attitude. It's based on a single word "reduce" and it is intended to help me be extremely satisfied with a lot less. During this time of "reducing" I'm learning that training myself to eat very small portions is the key to altering my overall lifestyle. So far I'm down four pounds, which makes me feel great. I was hoping to lose more than that after 25 days, but I'm going to follow Elliot's advice and stay positive.
Reducing is working. It's working also because instead of running to the kitchen every time I feel a little emotional disturbance or experience stress, I remember that there are other ways to find comfort in life besides food.
Like listening to Mozart's Concertos for the French Horn in my re-made, recycled chair that Richard helped me alter into a swing.
Or building a terrarium in a bottle.
And taking a walk in the woods.
I'm learning that while I'm reducing, it's important to keep asking myself what brings pleasure to my heart. Sometimes it's as simple as taking a hot bath or a nap. Solitude helps too. For me, eating, especially over-eating, is a social activity. Lately I have been avoiding restaurants like an ex smoker avoids parties or bars. I'm very nervous about our upcoming trip to Las Vegas because by nature it's a culture of excess. Once a plate of food arrives, I'm not sure how I will navigate sitting at the table for the duration of the dining experience without over-indulging.
Maybe I will just order strawberries. Strawberries saved my life during the months I was breaking my nicotine addiction.
It's not easy to turn this ship around, and so far I don't need to buy smaller pants.
But maybe on this journey to finding new or reclaiming old pleasures of the heart I might. It's the kind of journey that no one can see, the kind where a battle is being fought on the inside.
We have a cousin in Richard's family with a health condition that will not allow her to eat for the next 15 years. For this young woman, nutrition now comes only through a bag.
I have been praying for her and thinking of how extremely difficult this journey must be, when the world around her goes on eating, consuming, advertising, cooking....
It's actually incomprehensible to me how she manages to choose life over eating, every single day. Her name is Rachel, and any prayers you might say for her are much appreciated.
Thank you friends, for always being a wonderful support for me, and for Elliot and Richard too. I have felt uplifted by your visits here and count you among those who bring pleasure and joy to my heart. If you are also battling an inward fight, or taking on a challenging journey, I'm sending positive intentions your way.
I am praying for Rachel. What a uniquely difficult challenge. Bless her heart.
ReplyDeleteJenny, four pounds is wonderful! You've got the right idea. Instead of a fad diet that can't turn out to be a lifestyle, you've done the wise thing.
I love your alternate methods of destressing, and your repurposed chair!
You are going to do fine in Vegas, and Color Me Rad will be the cherry on top!
Thank you for the prayers for Rachel! I think about her often. It humbles me and makes me grateful for being able to satisfy my basic needs.
DeleteI'm still trying to discover new ways to handle stress because for some reason I'm feeling a lot of it lately. I love to roller skate, so maybe it's time to go to the rink and reclaim my ten year old self.
I appreciate your encouragement and support Shelly!
Oh dear Jenny! I will certainly pray for poor Rachel. This was a great post. I'm afraid I'm like you, and like all that food you have mentioned ! We don't have large portions though. Since I had my abdominal surgery last year, I have noticed a difference though. I have always been a UK size 10, but when I bought a new pair of trousers for the spring this week, I couldn't do up the waist. Eeeek! I shall have to change them for a size 12 ! That was such good advice you gave there, so, in future I shall look for something nice to do, rather than go to the kitchen to grab a snack! See what an inspiration you are to us! I love that swing chair by the way. Bless Elliot for telling you to stay positive. Well done for losing those 4lbs. Great post my friend. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteHi Diane, thank you for visiting today! I also appreciate prayers for Rachel. Your comment about portion size reminded me of the American tendency toward "super sizing" and that, quite sensibly, it's not how people around the world approach dining. Although, once when I was in Paris, someone in my dinner party ordered a chocolate mousse for dessert and it arrived in an enormous footed crystal dish with a single spoon. Since there were ten of us at the table, she ordered another nine spoons and we all had a taste! It was divine...
DeleteI'll probably not be giving up my love of delicious food, and because of that I've decided that having less means I can eat a little of everything!
I will pray for Rachel and others with extreme challenges. You and I are both making lifestyle changes in our eating. Some days are easier than others. I find that stress triggers a lot of my need to eat, so I'm trying to recognize that and separate it from true hunger. I've found that just a little taste of sweet is enough sometimes. I found this Chocolate Almond Butter at Trader Joe's that's almost like frosting. It's not even close to nutritious - probably like Nutella - but when I'm stressed and really craving something sweet, I just eat a spoonful and it's enough. Since its almond butter it's still got a fair amount of protein in it. Every little trick helps, right? I admire you treating yourself to walks in the woods, etc. I will have to do more of that for myself. I've not lost a lot of weight, but I've noticed that some of my arthritis aches have lessened, so I'm very happy about that.
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DeleteHi Karen! Thank you for prayers for Rachel. The phrase "extreme challenge" fits her condition perfectly and reminds me that while in my mind I'm struggling, at least it's not an extreme adjustment. It's more like a growing, subtle awareness that I have control over the quality and the quantity of everything I choose to take in. When I'm just going along eating whatever, whenever, I'm not paying attention, I'm not acknowledging the presence of stress or emotion. My indulgence is dark chocolate loaded with round fat hazelnuts, and Edy's frozen strawberry bars. Chocolate Almond Butter sounds wonderful! I'm happy to have a friend to take this journey with!
DeleteReducing is difficult and I think it's great that you have so much discipline. How beautiful that Elliot has such wisdom to inspire you on your journey. He really is an amazing kid! I'm trying to reduce, too. I've been buying celery and cucumbers to snack on. Those strawberry kabobs look delicious!
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