This week I was fighting mad! At no less than about four people, all at once. It was a lot to carry by day, and difficult to put down at night. Sometimes I'd wake up at one a.m., frustrated that the noise in my head carried on in my subconsious. Negative feelings are so upsetting to me. When I'm in this kind of attitude, it's so hard for me to break free. I don't eat healthy or work out often, I forget to turn to my creative projects, and I steam like a pressure cooker.
Then bad little things start to cluster around the anger, like accidents and injuries. Like burning my hand in hot grease, throwing out my back and getting a huge crack in my windshield. The vacuum also broke during my bad spell, and I barely touched it.
One of my friends says I have incredibly powerful intention. When I'm mad, other things start falling apart around my negative cloud. The cat even peed on the carpet on Valentine's day.
During this funk, I barely noticed other people. But just now, after telling a story about a friend, the anger melted completely away. So I thought I would share this story with you, in case the writing of it heals me further, and that you experience a lifting.
My friend Anna (not her real name) and I have known each other since high school. Anna was an only child growing up, and I loved going to her house. I enjoyed times we spent together either one on one or with a group. She was the kind of teenager that other teen girls felt safe with and drawn to (possessing a rare combination of energetic spunk, edgy wit, beauty and fierce loyalty). She had four cats who used to eat their dinner on the counter top. She taught them to fetch crumpled Dixie cups. One of the cats was named Fan-belt, because he survived a harrowing encounter with a fan belt when they started the car.
Anna was generous with love. She gave me a going away party when I went to college for the first time. I have kept those cards that were given to me that day, along with a Christmas ornament she had engraved with the words "best friends."
Alas, college life was really a huge distraction for me, and with my father's cancer battle, I lost touch with my dear friend.
Until several years ago, and the life changing event of Facebook. (I'm sure there are a billion stories of those reunions..but I never tire of them). Since then I've enjoyed renewing our friendship while we share little things online. I learned that for many years, she was a special education teacher. She would post pictures of herself with some of her students with a caption that read
"Down's is not a disability, it is a gift."
She loved her students and would often invite them for events at her home where she helped them to learn horseback riding.
Anna also has three wonderful kids who regularly earn top honors in academics and 4H. They are a family that stay so incredibly active I wonder how all of it fits into a 24 hour day. A few years ago, Anna and her children experienced a huge life change...she fell in love, finished her college degree and remarried. Soon after the wedding, this brand new blended family relocated to a different state and purchased a farm. She began working full time for 4H, a job she was thrilled to begin. Months later, she announced yet another life changing event...an upcoming arrival of a baby boy! The announcement was shared in a picture of rows of cowboy boots, the tiniest boots standing in the front row.
While she was carrying this sweet baby, she took her family to Disney World. (My friend is obviously stronger than Superman and has more stamina than a triathlete).
For years, Anna's posts have brought me happy feelings. I'm encouraged and inspired by her life and awestruck by the changes that keep rolling through in such rapid succession.
Two weeks ago, Anna's baby arrived.
His name is Colt.
He is the most beautiful baby.
He has Down Syndrome.
Deep in my core, I understand that God knew exactly where to send this precious soul. To my friend with the biggest heart for ALL children.
So, quite suddenly, I'm no longer angry.
Here is what my friend wrote under one of the first pictures of her new son:
"This is such a blessed experience."
*****And would you believe me if I told you that their Sow recently gave birth to piglets? It's a house full-to-busted with babies and love.