"Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you" --- Maori proverb
It is an uncomfortable reality but sending my children to public school in North Carolina has taken an emotional toll on my family. Perhaps homeschooling would be an even bigger emotional investment, an additional financial burden and extraordinarily time consuming. But as I write this post, I am two inches from achieving my childhood dream of teaching, even if the classroom only has one student: my own.
As a first grader, Elliot has spent a great deal of time in school but has apparently not learned much. And now his teacher is complaining.
Let me pause to say just this: if I have to spend four hours each night to bring him up to the standard level that is acceptable for first graders, then why am I sending him to school at all? Why send him for six hours of nothing only to have him do all of his learning at home in the afternoon?
Elliot and I have begun practicing sitting in silence with our candle in the
mornings. We are not sending desperate prayers to God to save us from what we know we must do. We just sit there in silence and feel comforted.
And yesterday, we took a break from our work to walk. It was incredibly beautiful. Just being in the woods seemed to wash away our problems. With camera in hand, I realized that instead of hanging my head down in shame, determined to work harder so that my son will succeed,
I need to look up and see the sun.
And look within for answers.
Knowing there will always be bridges to cross.