Thursday, June 14, 2012

Sliding into Summer




These were taken on the last day of second grade in our little home school.  It was the most fun year of school we've ever had.  I'm encouraged to keep diving further in to this journey. 

Yesterday we spent the day at the pool.  It was the last day of our time as caregivers for our friends, and luckily I'm not feeling sad or bereft because I'm confident we'll be seeing them on a regular basis.  Today I'm retired from nanny-hood. 

It's also our fourth wedding anniversary!  I can't believe how fast the time is flying.   Richard changed my life and my entire outlook by saying a single sentence.  He said this single sentence to me while my tears were soaking the clean cotton of his t shirt.  He said a single sentence and for the first time in my life, I believed it.  He said "Of course God loves you, Jenny."  And then I began a long climb out of a dark hole.

I had made a terrible mistake.  A devastating, life changing mistake.  But with those words, I could manage to keep looking forward.  My then friend, and later on husband, comforted me with something so empowering that no college degree, no material success, no public award could ever outshine it.  He dug up something buried deep inside.  The will to live.  And live with joy.

We were smokers then.  I remember our long talks out on the little porch of my single bedroom apartment.  We sat among the huge, blooming pots of flowers I grew, inhaling, exhaling, flicking ashes and stubbing out the butts.  We were totally engrossed in conversation and absolutely gob-smacked at the connection we kept discovering on ever deepening levels.  I learned that he graduated summa cum laude but never attended his graduation from college.  What a moment that would have been.

I'm still learning what lies beneath his outer persona; which still thrills me. 



I might have a few complaints about the frustrating parts of life, but on the whole, I'm grateful for so much.  It's important to acknowledge when things are affecting the joy that we could be having so we can move on. It's critical to  remember how we are ultimately responsible for our own happiness.  We can take the fullness of life and find something beautiful to focus on.  It really is our choice.  I could complain even further about how every time we go out, there will be  someone to say "don't do that! That's invented fun, and we cannot allow you to throw a tennis ball to the children as they leap from the diving board, because it's not something we have seen before and it may be a liability!"  I could go on crying and whining and throwing my little inner temper tantrum about how REGULATED we are as a society.  Or, I could just keep inventing fun and asking people to look up a written rule that states that it's not allowed.    Living in such a law burdened society, it now becomes my responsibility to live freely by challenging every single objection to my freedom. 

This year, Richard and I are celebrating our anniversary with a little road trip.   Here's to love and freedom, and happiness!  Take what comes your way with a smile!  The dark clouds do fade into bright sunlight.

Happy Father's Day to all the dads too.  I hope you have a great weekend!

10 comments:

  1. Hi, Elliot! I hope you have a terrific summer. If you catch fireflies (lightning bugs) in a jar to observe them please remember to set them free when you're done so that they can enjoy their summer, too.

    Happy summer sounds
    The summer sounds I love

    Listen to the music of the carousel
    The tinglelingle, lingle of the ice cream bell
    The splishing and the splashing on a moonlight swim
    The roarin' of the waves when you go surfin in

    June and July and August play a symphony
    Under starry skies above
    Happy summer sounds
    The summer sounds I love

    The paddle of a steamboat on a Sunday cruise
    The sizzle of the hotdogs at a barbecue
    The shrieking on a rollercoaster way up high
    The whistles on the beach when a peach goes by

    Summertime is here
    Wake up and come alive
    Put away your scarf and glove
    (Altogether now!)
    Here come summer sounds
    The summer sounds I love

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy Summer Shady! Elliot has learned the "living free and in the wild philosophy from his heroes, the Kratt Brothers. We even named our home school "Learning Free and In the Wild." So, no lightning bugs in jars for us.

      We love the poem! I'm sure it must be the lyrics of a song?

      Have a great weekend my good friend!

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    2. It's one of my favorites by Robert Goulet:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6kEDvBUF8U

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  2. What beautiful post! Your husband sounds like an amazing man and I love those words of truth he spoke to you. I enjoyed reading about how you sat and talked and smoked in your little apartment. My husband and I also connected through conversation in the beginning of our relationship. Happy Anniversary and Happy Father's Day to Richard!!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Jenn! It's such a different life for me now, knowing Richard. I'm so happy that you have a great husband too. Love like this makes my life incredible.

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  3. This the like the Twilight Zone because there was no text when I first read and commented. There were only the three pictures of Elliot. Therefore, I also want to wish Richard a very happy Father's Day!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That was totally my fault. Sorry Tom! I hit publish for a second and then went back to write.

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  4. Such a lovely post, Jenny! I so enjoyed reading the love story of how you two came to be. It does my heart good to read about so many flourishing couples. You are right not to let modern day Pharisees and their rules bother you. It's a sad, constricted little world they live in, but it doesn't have to ensnare you. Happy Anniversary to the two of you, and Happy Father's Day to Richard.

    P.S. I love the joy in Elliot's face~

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  5. Dearest Jenny,
    How wonderful you had such an impressive moment and thank you very much for sharing with your marvelous writing. Your amazing husband must be a splendid father for your children as well.
    After we were introduced, my husband called me every night, p;) He convinced me or made me feel our physical handicap is not a big matter.
    I wish you have a enjoyable road trip and Happy Father's day.
    Lovely photos of Elliot♡♡♡ Love you always, xoxo Miyako*

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  6. happy summer to elliot! happy father's day to richard! and... happy anniversary to you both! so glad that you found each other.

    ReplyDelete

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