Friday, August 30, 2013

An Epiphany on Friendship

The hour is late as I sit in the living room with the company of a ticking clock and the soft light of a small brass lamp.  There is no one else awake to hear the clearest thought that entered the room of my mind.

But it is an important thought.

There is a clear difference between the miracle of genuine friendship and a co-dependent relationship.    

 Perhaps you know that over the past month, I've been struggling with the end of what I believed was a close friendship, but which now I understand to have been a co-dependent relationship.  Since I am no longer participating in it, the other party is throwing a tantrum and sending mail filled with finger shaking accusations meant to shame me into some kind of reaction.

I shall not participate, only observe.

And in this time of observation, I recognize a pattern. When the end of a co-dependent relationship occurs, the person you've recently withdrawn from cries that you were a false friend all along.

 The dependent party will never ever ever take any responsibility for their part in causing damage.

To expect this is false hope.

Unfortunately children will feel loss, and this is part of life too.

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