The hour is late as I sit in the living room with the company of a ticking clock and the soft light of a small brass lamp. There is no one else awake to hear the clearest thought that entered the room of my mind.
But it is an important thought.
There is a clear difference between the miracle of genuine friendship and a co-dependent relationship.
Perhaps you know that over the past month, I've been struggling with the end of what I believed was a close friendship, but which now I understand to have been a co-dependent relationship. Since I am no longer participating in it, the other party is throwing a tantrum and sending mail filled with finger shaking accusations meant to shame me into some kind of reaction.
I shall not participate, only observe.
And in this time of observation, I recognize a pattern. When the end of a co-dependent relationship occurs, the person you've recently withdrawn from cries that you were a false friend all along.
The dependent party will never ever ever take any responsibility for their part in causing damage.
To expect this is false hope.
Unfortunately children will feel loss, and this is part of life too.
I am so sorry for my internet limitations, as there is much more I want to say, but you are right in your observations. I consider you a true friend, myself!
ReplyDeleteYou, my friend are a miracle to me.
DeleteHi Jenny. The end of a friendship, especially if it was a close one, is always hard, but sometimes it is just right to end it. I had an extremely good friend for 20 years and we had some wonderful times together , but I came to realise that she was a taker and I was doing all the giving. Reluctantly I ended the friendship and life has been much less stressful for me ever since.
ReplyDeleteDear Diane,
DeleteThank you so much for sharing your story here. It really does so much to heal my troubled heart. While I do practice the kindness that I celebrate here on the blog, being kind to myself and to my family is also a priority. The interesting thing I'm learning is that the truth can be spoken with kindness but sometimes the truth is so painful that the other person cannot accept it, and thus behaves and takes actions to close the door to their hearts. Thank you for being such a supportive friend, I appreciate you!
Thank you Jenny!:)
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