Friday, April 20, 2012

The Slow Dream

In a recent post, I shared one of my tactics for slowing the vigorous march of time.   This idea that time can be flexible is intriguing.  I wonder: is time like putty, a medium we have the power to manipulate?  Is it not what we thought it was?  Perhaps those old spreadsheet time management tools can be thrown out the window for good. This question is still fresh in my mind as I work on a secret project for a special someone who has no idea who I am. While I work, I'm newly aware of something so important that it's difficult to express.  I feel like a person who has just come a little farther out of a dark cave and into some very bright sunlight.

The slow dream is the one you remember on waking.

I am building a slow dream.  When I wake up in the bright sunlight I can see that I have two healthy children, a healthy husband...and I even have healthy pets!  That miracle alone is enough to send my heart soaring.  Every day we spend like this is incredibly precious and wonderful.  So it does not matter to me that when I work, I have interruptions and difficulty finishing a simple project in a short period of time.  It might take three days to finish because in the meantime, we're doing school, shopping for food, cleaning the house, caring for friends, caring for pets and having surprising adventures.  Sometimes, we even go kayaking.

I admit that I have struggled with certain issues, like Elliot's progress in regular school.  From my perspective now, that issue seems like such an insignificant thing to worry about.  Last night, I heard Delilah's call to "slow down and love someone" on the radio and I knew without doubt that Richard and I had made the right decision to bring Elliot home for his education.  We can slow down and love him, and build his foundation for learning, nearly every hour of every day if he needs it. 

The call to slow down and love someone also applies to the little home business.  I can slow down and love it too.  Slow dreams take a long time and a lot of care and patience.  I could save money and ship my idea off to a manufacturer in China, but it's just not my style.

 And so I might have started a small project several days ago, only to have to put it down because we need to talk about how the word "could" sounds like it should be spelled "cud," but cud is something a cow chews, and could is not even a thing, but one way to ask a question.  I love that I can discuss language, books, science, math and art with my son while we go though this life together.  I enjoy watching him take a play break to go out and ride his scooter while the morning is in full swing, the sky full of light and the air fresh and dewy.  I love that he is free to explore and not stuck at a desk all day. Yesterday, during one of his explorations, he found a box of old stuff in a cabinet.  I asked him what he found inside the box and he replied

"my childhood."

The box contained a collection of old superhero costumes.


I told him that his daddy has a theory that we put memories in physical objects, and that's why when you touch something you used to play with, a memory will surface. With that thought, he went back to the box to look for his old blanket. 

What is your relationship with time?  Do you have tools that you use to manipulate it?  When you want to remember something, are you able to store it somewhere or expand your experience of it in some way?








7 comments:

  1. Jenny, you need to be writing for a wider venue. There are people out there who need to hear what you've put into words here.

    You are always stunningly articulate with crystal clarity that I'm sure there are magazines, newspapers, etc. that would love to carry a column of yours, or articles just like this one.

    This slow dream is beautiful, and you are a life changer, both for Elliot and for the special little someone (if it's who I think it is) you are doing this project for.

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  2. Dear Shelly, Wow! Thank you for the spectacular encouragement. And yes, the project is for whom you think it is;)
    By the way, your writing deserves a wider audience as well! We are all addicted to your storytelling!

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  3. For many people saving time is an obsession. We've all seen the impatient motorist weaving across lanes of traffic, risking his life and the lives of others for the sake of reaching his destination a few seconds earlier. Ever notice how much more enjoyable a drive can be when you get off the super highway and take the scenic route? It forces you to slow down which enables you relax at the wheel and enjoy sights that you would not get to see while whizzing down the freeway. It might take you 15 minutes longer to get where you're going but the journey is more enjoyable and you arrive in a better frame of mind.

    The above is a metaphor that can be applied to the pace of your life. Sometimes I enjoy challenging myself and seeing how fast I can move and how much I can accomplish in a span of time. I have also learned to make it okay to slow down and savor each moment, experiencing life in "real time" rather than at warp speed. I don't believe in the concept of wasting time. There is restorative power in watching the grass grow and just being. Tasks still get done with time to spare and I am at peace.

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  4. This is a great post. Thank you for sharing.

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  5. Hi Jenny. Both Shelly and Shady have left such insightful comments for you today. Your post was wonderful, and so very wise my friend. You know how much I admire you and your attitude to life. You are doing such a good thing with Elliot and I know that he will grow up to be such a well rounded young man, all thanks to you, and you should be proud of that. Slowing down and savouring the moment is so important . I didn't always realize that when I was your age, because there was always something going on. You are wise beyond your years Jenny, believe me. Hugs.

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    1. Thank you so much for the kind and loving comment Diane. You have inspired me so much on this journey, and you don't even realize it!

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  6. So you always amaze me. This was so touching and so uplifting of a post. Might I just add that the applicants we received in Admissions that were home schooled were always the cream of the crop! Eliot will have such a wealth of love and kindness instilled by you and Richard to draw from all throughout his life.
    Lovely~

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