Friday, November 18, 2011

Living my dream, one hour a week

Underneath my photo to the right, you'll notice that I've included "teacher" as one of my personal adjectives.  This week, I've questioned whether or not I should use that word.  It was my life long dream to be a classroom teacher, a dream that was wishful thinking.  I wonder if by using that term I'm misrepresenting myself.
 Fellow blogger Shelly from Le Tejana is a real classroom teacher.  The kind of person who gives her heart to many, many kids on a daily basis, year after year.  Her stories are uplifting, and sometimes incredibly tragic.  I thought about Shelly in her classroom this morning and I tried to imagine myself in that role.  After considering the enormous responsibility and expectations, I began to see why I've not taken the next steps into that role.  It's just too big for me at this point in my life.

Maybe I should change the word "teacher" below my picture to "home educator." While it's true that I took on a teaching role as licensed child care provider, taught preschool for several years and also worked as nanny, the time I've spent teaching in a public classroom is limited to my hours either as a volunteer or as a college student earning hours for my Ed Studies concentration.  Which was supposed to be my major.

In the middle of that, along came Elliot.
And I wanted to be with him more than I wanted a license.  I hated that torn feeling.  Hated it.  Having to keep searching and trusting various care givers so that I could keep taking classes was difficult.  I was not willing to seek a full time day care situation so that I could complete student teaching.  It was a selfish act.  Elliot was my baby and I wanted time with him.

One day, my compassionate English professor and academic advisor suggested that I could finish my undergrad degree and return for my teacher's license later, when Elliot was older.  This idea sent a wave of relief through me and I took it and ran...

Then I was left with a fresh diploma and the desire to work a little.  I was eager to use my new skills and confidence that was brimming inside.  So I went to the library and worked second shift.

Which was great.  But still it was not teaching.

And the little teacher flame still burned within.

I know I could be a substitute and do this every day.

Yet Elliot and Richard and I are happy with homeschooling. Everyday I learn more about the kind of teacher I am.  Because my son loves wildlife biology and the natural world, my mind has opened up to a whole new discipline.  It's an intensely fascinating journey.  Last night I thought it would actually be possible to book a cruise to the Bahamas and arrange for Elliot to meet the amazing Doc Gruber, who is currently compiling the largest data collection on lemon sharks in the world.  I appreciate the freedom that I couldn't have in a brick and mortar school. 

I have this other little thing...this homeschool writer/illustrator workshop.

There are four students now.  They have all bonded with one another and have asked me to organize things to do outside of our class, and also to keep going with it next year.  One of my students said today,
"I love this class.  It's more fun than school!"
For one hour a week, I feel like a real teacher in a real classroom.  I feel validated and uplifted by their enthusiastic participation.  It fulfills me in a way I cannot really describe.

It was a big risk to make up a course and pitch it to an administrator.  I can't believe it was accepted and that I'm actually doing this. 

Have you lived a dream in a big or small way?  How did you make it happen?  Or was it completely accidental?

6 comments:

  1. You are an authentic teacher in every sense of the word, probably more so than some who hold the actual certificates. I know your homeschool writer/illustrator workshop is something so valuable and something more homeschoolers need. I hope you are able to spread it all over the country!

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  2. I haven't lived a dream but I sure enjoyed reading about yours. Touching lives the way you do is an awesome thing and I am so excited for you. Have a wonderful weekend and tell Elliot I share his love for biology and nature in all it's wonders.
    Odie

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  3. I haven't done anything as important as becoming a teacher, but I've always loved to draw and paint. When my kids were small I had a little room I used as a studio where I would paint to my heart's content while my kids were playing in the back yard. I sold some children's items to a children's boutique, I used to paint like crazy for different Christmas boutiques, and then I had the chance to work with a designer painting several rooms in a design showcase home. From there I got several customers who wanted varying sizes of wall murals painted. I haven't done anything like that in several years, as I eventually went to work and there was no time. But I painted a mural on one granddaughter's wall, and created a painted dresser for another. It's been a fun thing to do that I hope to find more time for in the future.

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  4. Beautifully written post today Jenny. I can't help thinking that you keep putting yourself down my friend, when you really are such a talented person in so many ways. I hope that you illustrator workshop will give you confidence in yourself. You are giving so much to those four students, and they are obviously loving every moment of it. I admire you for wanting to be with Elliot - that is the best thing you could ever do for him. Be kind to yourself and take care xx

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  5. What a wonderful post and I feel you are a teacher nothing wrong with wanting to be with ones child. Don't sell yourself short the teaching you do is valuable

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  6. I typed a lengthy comment which Blogger chose you swallow :( I'm off to bed now, so will try a repeat again tomorrow! X

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