When I came home, I decided to tend the neglected flower beds. I imagined taking a long bike ride in the afternoon and then taking my son to a local football game.
I'm still going to take that bike ride but before I do I had to write something that may only be important to me. Today I discovered a personal metaphor. I never would have discovered it if I had not been blogging this week.
Blogging helps me see things about myself and my life that a mirror or a camera cannot.
For example, while thinking of the previous post "the blue trailer", and receiving Angie's comment about isolation and a time of growth, I realized in a flash that the blue trailer of my past is a symbol...
or a metaphor.
The blue trailer is a memory rich in detail that I can make use of as a literary device in the narrative of my life. Writing from that source will help me to heal that old hurt and free myself from the power of the painful and pathetic emotions locked in that image.
The blue trailer is a metaphor for all the things I try to hide.
It's nicer to have coffee at my friend's house because then I'll never be embarrassed by my empty flower pots.
The blue trailer is the stack of dirty dishes in my sink. The smelly trash can. My weight gain.
The blue trailer had holes, and mice. Everything inside was worn. The window frames let the cold seep in. It had a terrible rust-colored couch. I had to clean out hundreds of mothballs before moving in. I think the mothballs, even after being removed, permeated everything.
The poplar trees around it blocked out the sky. The sand road imprisoned us in winter and kept people out.
The blue trailer is isolation.
Disappointment.
Loneliness.
Despair.
It is full of anxiety about having enough money and food and gas and books to read.
It is all the things I am embarrassed to talk about.
I am so thankful not to be living in the blue trailer. I just need to search for the happy image that will become the metaphor for the life I have right now.
Do you have a personal metaphor?
Wow. Powerful stuff. Good imagery. Again, I applaud your honesty. Sounds like it did you good to sort out your thoughts and write them down.
ReplyDelete11 years ago my husband and I went for marriage counseling. Our counselor asked us to think of an image to represent how we felt about our life at the moment. Then he wanted us to think of what we would like our life to be. This reminds me of what you've called a personal metaphor.
At the time I felt like I was in a box and no matter which direction I turned I kept bumping into walls. A turning point came when I could visualize the box opening and being able to get out. I don't ever want to go back into the box.
The picture of what I wanted to be was my friend Marlene's hanging Swedish Ivy plant. Marlene's plants always looked great. Big, lush, beautiful. One summer I admired her plants so the next summer she bought me one when she bought hers. She told me how to care for the plant. We had the same plant, same pots, same fertilizer, but hers thrived and mine limped along. She lived in town and her plants were protected from wind and the elements. We lived in the country and who knows why mine didn't do as well as hers. But that's my personal metaphor - I want to be like Marlene's plant - green, growing, thriving.
Let us know when you find a personal metaphor for your present.
Oh gosh...I'm afraid I'm not deep enough to have a personal metaphor. :) Or at least I haven't figured it out yet. Maybe once my brain cells return after 3 pregnancies I'll be able to figure it out. I wonder if that ever happens...
ReplyDeleteNew follower here...Found you on SITS! Stopping in to spread some Saturday SITStas love.
Lots of yummy love,
Alex aka Ma What's For Dinner
www.mawhats4dinner.com
following from saturday spotlight. I love this post..a metaphor? I am not sure !I have a saying.. I am looking for my wings...I am almost there I think!:)
ReplyDeleteHi, I'm a new follower.
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New follower from Spotlight Saturday, hope you'll follow back, thanks!
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Great blog & what an interesting thought. Um, a personal metaphor? I once wrote a poem to honor my mother, with a willow tree her metaphor. The willow is graceful and flowing and sways with whatever blows its way, yet it stands beautiful and strong. I'd like to be that. Don't know if I've made it there yet!
ReplyDeleteI found you at Spotlight Saturday. I think you'd have fun at www.magicalmouseschoolhouse.com, where Disney IS school. Hope you can stop by!
I enjoyed your post very much... its wonderful when we have eureka moments and certain things, idea, or symbols resonate with what we are feeling inside.... very interesting.
ReplyDeleteI am following you from spotlight Saturday.
Have a great weekend!
Best,
Elizabeth
Your Grandpa Carter(and grandma) came to see us in Arizona right after we moved here.It was a sunny day in January. I was outside hanging clothes and he said: "My goodness- the sky is eye-binking blue here".I have never forgotten this methaphor for our bright sunny days, I have used his example for years now and think of him with that bright smile!
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