Last night, while watching Dragonfly, I was captivated by the line "imagination is what gets us there". A story of a man who loses his wife and unborn child to a natural disaster in Central America, this film is suspenseful, intelligent and visually beautiful. The main character, played by Kevin Costner, is an ER physician. When things start to get intense, someone says, "the reason you are doctor is that you previously imagined yourself to be one."
The idea that we construct our current reality is an attractive but complicated message. There is a part of me that believes this. I read this prior to taking a leap into business. On some level we do shape our lives out of imaginations and desires. But it takes faith to walk this path.
I lose my confidence often. It comes and goes like the wind. One day, I'll wake up feeling full of energy and purpose. Then a random set of events sends me in a tailspin, straight down a hole of negative blathering.
And then there's this nagging thought that my imagination is atrophied. There are stretches when I don't create. I don't write. I hardly think clear thoughts. There's a million interruptions. Something always needs my attention. I lose my focus.
If I would only remember that sitting quietly in a patient waiting mode brings great things to the surface. To listen for the still small voice. Wait to feel the presence. Spend time with the source of all that is good and beautiful. It is accessible all the time, but I forget.
And then I'm left with this question. When people are ready to die, it seems like they remember their lives as truly beautiful, with amazing and wonderful memories. I think they are thankful that God was the one who imagined and created it. The gift of their lives was something they didn't have to create, but something they were blessed to experience.
So maybe I should stop trying to construct my own future and let it go where it's going to go. Do you ever wrestle with this? I'd love to hear what you think.
It is amazing that you wrote this today... Hubby and I just spent the last hour discussing this... it is so easy to get focused on the negatives of it... I wonder why it seems that the negatives come to mind so quickly.. and yet the positives seem to need to be dug for. I am lucky to have him and that we can keep each other focused on the positive and on the right track.
ReplyDeleteI find for me that when I stop trying to drive and enjoy the ride that is my life..that things work out much better for me. Reminds me that sometimes what I think I need or want.. might not be what I end up getting.. but most often.. what I end up getting is what I need.
You're so good at reflection. I get so busy I don't often take time to think deep thoughts. My confidence ebbs and flows as well. Sometimes I'm doing something and I feel confident, like I know I can do this. Other times I'm almost paralyzed by doubts and negative thoughts. Lots of my friends are hard workers - cooking, canning, cleaning, decorating, homeschooling, caring for livestock, etc. They don't do the things I'm good at. I look at all their hard work and feel like a slacker. I love the paragraph you wrote about sitting quietly and listening for a still small voice.
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