Yesterday was a fresh, spring-like day. People were smiling. Birds were chirping. The air was mild, warm and breezy. All was well with the world. Elliot and I decided to go to Meeting for Worship. After seeing him off to First Day School, I discovered a posting for what once would have been my ultimate dream job. On the bulletin board, I read a letter announcing the vacancy for a fourth grade teaching position at a private school that only has 106 students.
I thought about turning my back on this new business. Opportunities like this have not come my way, ever. I dreamed of what the teacher in me would become in a nurturing, positive environment like a Friends school. I imagined being able to afford to send Elliot to this school. These thoughts filled my head as I sat through worship, bored by the other messages floating around. My imagination was going wild with scenarios of gathering reference letters and shopping for a brand new outfit. I even went so far as to visualize talking about the 17 Black Bear experience during the interview, then I imagined I saw the text I AM A TEACHER in a future facebook status.
I am just like Ralphie from A Christmas Story! Imagining future greatness for myself...
When I returned home, I was brought back to earth by my husband's neutral response.
It turns out that although he bears the responsibility for 100% of our bills, he would rather see me shine on in this seedling business. He sees my potential as something too important to walk away from. He reminded me that Elliot is getting a quality education. He validated me. I love him for that.
And I guess as long as there are students and schools, there will always be other teaching jobs to apply for.
But I kind of feel like that was my one last look a the ship I used to want to board. I think it may have sailed completely out of my reach for good.