Friday, December 16, 2011

Emotional Holidays

Recently my friend at Gems and Rhinestones posted a one hundred word essay on depression during the holidays, including a moving sketch of a woman posed in grief.    For me, it's New Years Eve that brings out a hollow, mournful feeling that I just can't seem to shake.  But I've also had Christmases tinged with sadness, being separated from loved ones who have died, or family who live far away.  I know that one of the unspoken rules of blogging is to "keep talking happy talk" as my friend Sush invites us all to do.  But I couldn't forget to acknowledge that for many people, the blues of Christmas are a real event, part of the spectrum of feelings we share despite the joyous cacophony of media, marketing, and cultural tradition.

This year, I've been enjoying an upbeat, happy season.  I still miss my father, who loved Christmastime more than anyone.  His childhood poverty meant abundance for his children, and every year we had the biggest real Christmas tree he could find.  He decorated the outside with huge tubs of lights.  He invited family and friends for open house Christmas celebrations.  He visited cancer patients in the hospital (all through the year actually, since he was a survivor.) Friendly visiting was his cause.  He spread hope and comfort to the sick, contributed his experience with support groups and attended more funerals than anyone I know. He made a point of  sharing unknown stories with grieving families about their loved one's last days.  These stories were usually surprising as they revealed hope and faith)  At his own funeral, I learned that my dad believed his cancer was a gift.  In fact, my father's cancer was one of the best things that had happened to him, because it gave a new dimension to the meaning of his life.  It made him feel connected to more people on an intensely personal level.

What devastates us is also a reason for celebration and gratitude. Hard times and challenges have the effect of bringing out the best in people.

If you are sad this year, because something very difficult is occurring, I understand.

In the darkest night, if you look hard enough, somewhere there is a pinpoint of light.






7 comments:

  1. What a hugely moving and inspiring post! Your dad had that special spark that people have who've been through something difficult and not let it destroy them. What a mover and shaker he muct have been. You're right to acknowledge folks who have a tough time around the holidays. Suffering happens all through the year. I believe this post is going to truly reach out to people and make them let down their masks. Thank you so much for sharing!

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  2. what a wonderful post! yes, it is a dark time but it's also a time for celebration. i can truly relate. i want this year to be over so the next one can begin fresh...

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  3. Dear Jenny, I do think that this is a wonderfully moving post, and I agree so much with Shelly that your dad was determined that the cancer wasn't going to destroy his spirit. It's sad remembering those we have lost at this time of the year, especially for all those who have lost someone this year. That first Christmas is always so hard. I love my handwarmers by the way, as you have already seen from my post. Thank you so much dear friend x

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  4. Dear Jenny, I am your newest follower.
    What a nice post! Christmas is my favorite season, even if it also is filled with many mixed up emotions. My dad died 14 years ago and I still miss him a lot. And the nice christmases we had when I was little. Thank you so much for sharing this inspiring post.
    Have a lovely Sunday!

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  5. Jenny you are so right, sometimes the 'Happy Talk' does not fit the occasion. I find the holidays bittersweet, but carry on for my family here with me. I know it is what my parents would expect and want of me. Your Dad gifted you with so much, but his example of making the most out of life is a very precious gift from him to his loved ones. It take a very special person to be able to look beyond the illness they are enduring and find the 'gift'.
    Blessings and God's Peace to you and yours!
    Loves~

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  6. This is an incredibly wise and beautiful post, Jenny. But, that's YOU! There are many blogging friends for whom Christmas is a time filled with great sadness. Your sweet words will undoubtedly offer them hope and comfort. I am off on my blogging break as from tomorrow. I've just been checking in here and there, today. Big hug, Des xoxo

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  7. Lovely post! And your dad was a gem!

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