And I have been drinking way too much coffee.
Yesterday, I couldn't access my business email account. This made me nervous. So I kept trying to change the password, over and over. I felt violated. I had to learn about phishing. This sent me into a minor anxiety attack. But then, just as I was sweating a little and tearing up, I remembered that the most important thing to do at the moment you feel most helpless is to ask God for help. To tell Him that you don't know how to solve this problem. Then walk away with trust and faith.
So I did. And I felt better. I remembered to relax and think of all the other things in life that are so much more important than an email account. I called my mom and had a nice long conversation. Then Elliot read a bed time story to me while we cuddled with Ozzie.
A gift that I wouldn't have discovered if I had not been paying close attention to every email in my inbox.
I'm celebrating this as a sign to keep moving forward.
And to remember to pray when I feel most helpless. Every time I see an image from Japan, or have a thought of the people who suffer. Or when I wonder what impact this has on our planet. Or when I worry that major disasters keep happening all over the world.
I know we are not meant to live in fear.
But sometimes I can't help it.