One strand of thought that runs through this blog is related to my unresolved identity crisis. Post modernists would say we all suffer from the condition of the fragmented identity. I think this must be a Western way of thinking. Recently I've had a serious craving for poetry and am rediscovering my love for that 13th century street rapper, Rumi. Rumi says that only a complete personal disolving into the larger energies of God can bring the satisfaction that the heart so desperately seeks.
There was never any need to be a single me, and better to be a whole lot of little things that blend and flow and mesh. Like a phytoplankton bloom on the surface of the ocean.
Discovering my blogging friends has helped me to feel a part of the larger energies of God.
They are unexpectedly thrilling, deep, lighthearted, soul filling connections.
Today I want to thank Diane at Southhamsdarling for a comment she made months ago when I was once again whining about "who am I, really?" She commented, "what I really think you want to do is teach."
And it was true. So even without all the formal certifications to do so, I made a proposal to teach a writing workshop at my local Y. Today I am expecting a class of seven kids!
And blogging for me has been enriching in so many other ways. Recently I posted a comment for Sush at First Do No Harm and said that blogging has made me aware of other people in an electrifying way. I can see people in the grocery store and suddenly recognize that there's a whole life of experiences within that person, cleverly disguised under their outer appearance. Of course this is obvious that people have life experiences, but what I mean to say is that I have a heightened awareness to it now. The lady with the green bag in aisle three is as complex and interesting, or sadly as boring, as me.
Through blogging I have discovered Shelly at La Tejana. Shelly feels like a kindred spirit and I'm in love with her writing, her stories of life, school and her enthusiasm for people. I would love for her to be my mentor and my close friend.
And Tom at Shady Dell Music and Memories. I know that almost everyone here loves him too! Through him I'm listening more and rumi-nating less. I'm learning to love music that I never even knew existed. And that story of the Dell...I long to see it on the big screen! And I wonder what ever happened to his good friend Gilly.
I used to whine about not having many friends. I thought that people in the south were turned off my my northern accent. Although it's not quite Canadian or Yooper, it is something distinctly north and I've yet to assimilate with phrases of "y'all" and "you do the same." Ten years into my exile, and I can stand in line in the Post Office and be confronted with "you're not from around here are ya?"
No, I'm not from around here. But I got here as fast as I could!